Lucifer will not shut up.
worried that squirrels were eating all the birdseed, so we set up a camera
i do not think that is a squirrel
the assassination of franz ferdinand was actually the most hilariously botched assassination attempt of all time though like i can’t even explain to you how badly it went i mean there were six guys and the first one chickened out and the second one forgot to factor in the delay on a hand grenade so it exploded like three cars past the archduke’s so the guy took a cyanide pill and threw himself into a river, but the cyanide was expired and the river was six inches deep so the police just pulled him out and took him off to jail and then everyone else basically gave up and headed home, and then the driver of the archduke took a wrong turn and the car stalled next to the last of the six guys, and he was just like “what a crazy random happenstance” and started world war one
my teacher told me the last of the six guys wasn’t even actually on the same street he went around the corner to buy some food
the powerpoint presentation opened with the line “world war 1: caused by a sandwich”
if everybody got a free miniature animal at birth that protected you, like a tiny elephant or dragon, the world would be a better place.
There’d be dragons everywhere. Dragons have to eat. We’d all be dead.
we’d arrange sacrifices of humans
starting with you
The X-Files “Monday” (1999) written by Vince Gilligan & John Shiban and directed by Kim Manners
& Supernatural “Mystery Spot” a.k.a. “Tuesday” (2008) written by Jeremy Carver & Emily McLaughlin and directed by Kim Manners
god bless this fucking fandom.
There is a very very large difference between Tumblr internet humor and actual humor
And it becomes obvious every time you try to tell a joke in real life.
I made this set before with screencaps, but now it’s in gif form. HUZZAH! It doesn’t look too shitty, does it?
I just noticed Dean’s little smile before he says “There.” He’s terrified and relieved at the same time. Relieved because he knows he doesn’t have to run anymore, terrified because he knows he won’t survive to run again.
i want to go on a shopping trip where i am the only one in the shopping mall and everything i want is free
that’s called night robbery
so be it